As a teenager I was a lifeguard during the summers. Not a bad gig, but one year, I forgot to renew my Life guard and CPR certifications in a timely fashion. So to get it done in time I had to pay to go to an overnight "retreat" where you could get all the hours you needed in two days instead of 2 weeks (I can't remember how long it was supposed to take exactly, all I know is it was too long!)
I really thought my procrastination had brought me to brilliance, time saved! I was a swimmer, this would be no problem. I could rock this and be the top of the class! Well, it wasn't my ability that was the problem, it was my "uniform." I was a swimmer after all. In the 90's we didn't have the modest bicycle short suits of today...nope...my uniform was a Speedo. You know the one I am talking about...the ones that make you cringe! Yep, I wore that. I mean, why not? All my friends wore this every day. No problem, it was part of the gig...Well NOT at "Lifeguard Retreat!" (sounds like a bad 80's title doesn't it)
The moment I walked out in it, i wish I could undo it. Man, 3 guys would become my Mortal Enemies for the weekend. They wouldn't stop. I thought beating them in a competition would work, Nope. I changed into a "normal suit" for the rest of the weekend, Nope. I even tried ignoring them, Nope. They were out for blood, and it was my self-esteem. After the closing ceremony where your parents came to pick you up I went back to the cabinet find all of my stuff scattered all over the cabin and campgrounds...Not my most exciting moment in life. It hurt.
Today I was reading Matthew 18:21-35. Jesus tells the story of the man forgiven MUCH and yet how he was unwilling to give forgiveness, for what in comparison to the debt he owed, was very minor. His unwillingness to forgive the one indebted to him resulted in the King's punishment.
The warning is clear v.35 - So my heavenly Father will do to everyone of you, if you do not forgive your brother FROM YOUR HEART.
Jesus makes it clear, if we belong to God, we are called to live out lives that bring Him glory. How can we do this? Love Generously, Show Mercy, and Forgive Quickly.
I read this and for the first time in decades I thought about that weekend retreat. Those guys were not my friends that weekend, but in the big scheme of things their actions don't even make the radar of my life and surely their actions don't warrant me holding onto un-forgiveness that is an offense to my Lord. For the record...forgiven ;) I know as adults you and I can name 100 harder instances of offense than this, but the truth is still the same.
I think it's time take our eyes off the offenses that others bring to our table and keep our eyes open to the mercy that God show us daily. No one has ever been won over by hate, piercing glares, the cold shoulder, stealthy FB posts, anger or harsh words. In fact, that's not even our goal! Hum, if it is, we'd all be toast.
So stop trying to forgive, by helping the other person react in a way that confirms your forgiveness "Worked." Just forgive. Our audience is the King! The relationship that we are guarding the most is with the Lord. Let your forgiveness come from the heart that has been healed by the blood of your Savior. God may change the heart of the brother you forgive...and He may not. That's His call, not ours. In forgiveness, you'll be set free!
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