Windshield and the Rear View Mirror

There's a reason the windshield is bigger than the rearview mirror...what's in front of you (me) is vastly more important than what is behind you (me).

This is not a wise saying that I've thought of, but a truth of scripture to all believers!

But Jesus said to him, “No one, after putting his hand to the plow and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.”

(Lk 9:62)

² fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (Heb 12:2)

And as for those who do not receive you, as you go out from that city, shake the dust off your feet as a testimony against them.” (Lk 9:5)

Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, (Php 3:13)

These are some of the most freeing verses in scripture, but some of the hardest to hold on to. That doesn't make sense does it? Not really, but I will tell you as a pastor/person...it's tough for me.

It's easy to dwell on hurt, missed opportunities, and the wrongs of our past. There is a bond that can be built around the things of our past. What I've found is, the longer I look in that rearview mirror...the more current the things of my past feel.

It's like that guy who is riding your bumper down the road on the way to your family vacation. The more you look at him, the more upset you get. The more upset you get, the more power you give him in your life. We stop talking about our joy and build conversation around the rearview mirror. What would happen if you acknowledge him for a moment and then never looked back. You just went back to talking with the others in your car about what is ahead. Where did this driver's power go? It's gone!

Now, that's not easy. In fact, I find some joy in trying to make that guy get off my bumper! I can tell others who will share my joy and their stories of dealing with such instances in their past! It feels...good. Like someone gets me! You know what's funny, this type of action EXTENDS the driver's influence into your future and he's not even there! That's why the Bible shows us that it's our job to keep our eyes from getting saturated with the things that we've been freed from.

As a pastor, holy moly, keeping my eyes forward often creates some of the most gut wrenching moments in my life. Countless times, God has shown me His direction, every time there is someone who desires to stay at the train station or get on a train going in the opposite direction. Like a child leaving his best friends behind, I have found myself often with my nose stuck to the window, tears in my eyes, longing for my friends to jump on! I think these moments are important, but can't last. Sin sneaks in, not in the parting of ways, but in holding on the sorrow, pain, anguish of the moment. When we, or I, keep our eyes fixed on what lies behind, we (I) neglect what lies ahead...the others on the train, the joy of the journey, even the conversation of the destination. Many times what's in the rearview mirror isn't an enemy, but a friend. In these times, I relate most with Heb. 12:2.

The joy is greater than the cross. The cross was brutal for Jesus. I cannot fathom, but it was a moment  a speck on the windshield of eternity. The joy was so overwhelming, the cross...was fleeting. The same is true for you and me christian.

So, turn your eyes to what God has in store. What He's rescued you from... your hurts, your past, your missed opportunities...leave them there. They have a capitol "V" on them...God has already given you victory. Don't revisit them...they died and you are a new person. I know what's in the rearview mirror still feel's alive...it may be, but not in you. Don't take my word for it:

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. ²¹ I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness were through the law, then Christ died for no purpose. (Ga 2:20–21)

This past Saturday I was surrounded by 21 men in prayer exalting God through prayer for what He has in store for us, our church, and families.  We were looking out of the windshield and it's beautiful!  

So today...take your eyes off of the rearview mirror...there's a reason it's so small. 

Friendship: fears and favor

What kind of friend are you? How connected are you to those closest to you?

Christi and I are night and day in this area.

Christi is a connector...the best kind. She allows her door to be open wide to many friendships. On top of that she is the birthday writer, weekly caller...if you have an important concert, play, competition, life event coming up...you can bet she remembered it, prayed for you, and did her best to show up or at least encourage you before the big day.

Me...not so much. I can get smothered in a hurry...what's funny is, I probably did my fair share of being a "smother-er" as a youth. My best friends in the world, I may only talk with 2-3 times a year. Other friends I haven't seen in years, and I still have a strong bond when I think about them. An honest truth, I forget...A LOT!  I may forget to write happy birthday on their FB page and would miss some major life events (if Christi hadn't have reminded me of them) I don't need to talk every day, I know these friends are my friends. When the time occurs for us to get together or catch up, it's always good.

Friendship is a tricky thing isn't it? I don't think the "type of friend" that we are, good/bad, has  much to do with how often we tag someone on FB. I think it's tricky because people are tricky. Flawed. All of us. Listen there are some people who want to get close to you with an agenda. Those are obvious to see. But what does God say about this wonderful, flawed relationship He commissioned called friendship?

I was struck in my personal time with God about this. Listen to the Holy Spirit speak through Paul in Galatians 3: 17-20

(17)They eagerly seek you, not commendably, but wish to shut you out so that you will seek them. (18)But it is good always to be eagerly sought in a commendable manner, and not only when I am present with you. 

(19)My children, with whom I am again in labor with you until Christ is formed in you - 

(20)but I could wish to be present with you now and to change my tone, for I am perplexed about you. 

I can't explain it to you, but the Lord really hit me with this today. I felt like I needed to remember it personally and to share it publicly.

What hit me first was truth...I like being "eagerly sought." In fact, I need others in my life to help me out. This may look different for everyone of us, but the truth is, I like being liked! I was glad I didn't stop after verse 17, because in verse 18, Paul affirms what I felt..."it's good to be eagerly sought!" Whew! It's good to have friends that help you out. It feels good having someone to lean on, call who times are tough. Someone that reaches out to you once and a while (so that you and I don't feel like we have to always be the initiator).

IT IS GOOD TO HAVE A FRIEND. 

Now follow me... hidden in these words are some of the most valuable truths on friendship that you and I can ever hear. Some friends are driven by, and drive us to, fear and some are driven by, and drive us to, favor.

I am not buying into the lie that there are a ton of people eagerly seeking my friendship to steal from me or ride on my coattails..if you are out there...pockets are thin and I tuck my shirts in ;) But sincerely, I think most people who eagerly seek me as a friend...wait for it...want to be friends. It that bad? Nope! I like having friends. But, God gives me, us, a good word here about discernment with those who eagerly seek us. The word isn't necessarily to put a bouncer at the door of every relationship...you are either "all in" or "all out." It is directed at those friends that we allow to have meaningful influence on our lives.

Some people eagerly seek friendship out of fear and others out of favor. (you, like me, may have been guilty of this yourself...so no judging here...just follow me) How do we know the difference? To be honest it isn't easy, but God, by His grace, gives us a litmus test Fear grips, favor builds.

Fear grips. Friendships forged like this can be some of the most reliable out there. From constant check ups, to digging into your problems, always trying to help when you are in need. They solve your problems when you aren't around. Your kids are their kids. When you call they simultaneously pick up the phone and knock on your door ;) ! Is anything wrong with this? Honestly, not necessarily! Reliability is a strong trait in friendship!

BUT, here's the litmus test...Paul says that fearful friends "wish to shut you out so that you will only seek them." Read that again and let it sink in.

Hold the phones. You and I have to have God's lens on every relationship, right. I'll say it again, Fear grips, favor builds. This is true in friendships. When someone eagerly seeks you as a friend (or again   as we bring our own actions under the light of God's word...when you and I eagerly seek someone as a friend), are you finding your friendship circle expand or contract? Who are they pointing you to as goto support in your life? A Fear Friend will, with the best intention, try to be our overwhelming goto person. In fact, you may feel guilty spending time with others without them. Ever gone out with some friends and not posted a pic of a date night on FB because you didn't want to hurt another friend's feeling? Fear grips. Ever handed off a problem or been in need seeking advice from someone and a someone else suddenly "has it under control." Read Paul's words again, about fearful friends. They "wish to shut you out so that you will only seek them."

Favor builds. A friend like Paul points to in v.18, is one that builds us up! A Favor friend, builds our hope in God's plan for our life, His promise for our marriage, His provision for our children. A Favor friend is always there when we need them, but never wants to be the hero. A favor friend turns our eyes to other favor friends...our circle of friends increases, they rejoice when others are added and celebrate the network of Christ, the church, growing.

Friendship can be like cleaning solution. It starts out concentrated, but needs to have water added or it will stop being a cleaning agent and begin to cause corrosion. Water is needed to dilute it. This causes the concentration to be dispersed and the initial solution to share the space it once held alone.

I don't think God made everyone to have to have a certain number of close friends in their lives. For some its a small number for others big. I don't believe there is a formula for how often good friends must be in contact. But, I think God's word is clear, the friends that we rely on the most must be built on Favor, not fear. God's plan for us is commendable friendships that show the world the beauty of God's bride being the church together.

Paul's comments on the end are funny to me. I wish someone would have said this to me when I forged certain friendships and made certain decisions throughout my life..."For I am perplexed by you." Today we'd say..."this doesn't sound like you." Maybe they did and I just couldn't hear it. I can't go back and change my actions or responses that were influenced by fear, but I can move forward.

Being a Favor Friend to everyone, including those who are fearful. 

Fearful friends aren't evil. I've been one (and bet I'll be tempted at times by fear again and again in the future)...they are scared. Scared to lose what little they have. Scared to have their circle of friends contract even further. Scared that if they lose influence, importance...they will have little left. Scared that they aren't worthy of friendship. Fearful friends need Favor Friends.

Last night at TCBY the young lady behind the counter told me that she was "ready to go home, get in bed and watch a movie like all of the other losers with no one on Valentine's day." She needed a favor friend...not a friend to find her worth in...but someone to point her to hope, trust, and her value...I, in the least creepy way possible tried...I told her...my family is here that's what I was hoping to do when I get home...so either we both losers or neither of us are. (profound right?)

I know it was weak, but one of the things I love in life is loving people! We have to share commendable friendship with friends who are scared, fearful. We can build them up to trust, remind them of the value that God gives. Point them to the victories they can't see or imagine yet. Do I have to be mindful of their fear, certainly, but I don't have to fear it. The secret is, most favor friends were fearful friends someone in life. Someone had to show them what favor looked like. I did. It may be a tightrope not to pulled into their fear and God hasn't called us to get warm and snuggly with every person that walks into our life., but for those you influence away from fear towards favor...it's life changing.

Seeking more and more Favor Friends to help my life be the fullest that God made it to be.

This is tough, it takes discernment and gentleness. It takes patience and accountability. It means evaluating those relationships I am now in and their influence on my life...but in the end, the more Favor friends I have...the better man, husband, father, brother, son, teacher, pastor...the more blessed my life will be.

Walk Slowly Down the Mountain

Time to head home. Today ends a restful week my soul so desperately needed...beyond what I would have ever thought. I am so grateful for a church that allows me to be nourished in such a way, and a family that "covers" for me interrupting their lives to love and care for my children.

God has been teaching, loving, and ministering to me so sweetly this week. Today, on my last walk of the week He summed it all up.

WALK SLOWLY DOWN THE MOUNTAIN


The hills here are tough. Climbing them on the walk back to the room makes the Thigh Master seem like a warm up activity. It is easy to walk slowly up the mountain isn't it? It demands that you lean into it, shorten your stride, and take your time. When life it really overwhelming, tragedy strikes, or struggles appear in relationships...we know to slow down, lean into them and walk carefully through.

But downhill, that's a different story. When I'm going downhill, everything about it calls me to speed up! Embrace the pace and get down in record time! I love racing for a record...especially when I was younger. Speed, Speed...who am I kidding, I still like it. But running downhill causes me to miss the beauty all around me. The views, the glory of the decent, the sounds and sights. It's also harder. It burns a little to walk slowly, it almost feels unnatural. Stopping and running...that feels natural, not going slowly. That's what God's calling me to though...and I want it.

My kids are both on the short side of calling the place we dwell home. I am wired to run through life, press on so hard that I hope they keep up and find joy in running as I do. I'm also tempted to STOP. Make my life revolve around them, trying to milk every moment beyond even God's design. Neither of those is what I am created to be as a dad. I'm called to lead, to love, to mold. If I'm running too fast I'm leaving them in the dust. If I stop walking them down God's path then I'm setting them up to think life is about them, not Christ. I don't want them to be left to the wolves, nor unintentionally become a wolf by not leading them, investing my love for Christ in them.

Nope, I've gotta walk slowly down the mountain...they'll want to run...but it's not up to them yet ;)
No, I want to point out God's beauty to them, work through he pains of the hill with them, help them to see beyond their feet, their speed...beyond themselves.

Walking slowly down the mountain isn't just for me as a dad. Nope, it's for me as a Christ lover, a wife lover, a friend, boss, leader, Pastor. Every area of life! God owns the record, not by His speed, but by His hand! This life, it's never been a race run by speed...nope, by pace! I'm running to win...and that's only going to happen if I slow down. Be intentional about my steps. Remember my calling is more than just enduring...its about delighting!

Walk Slowly Down the Mountian

(Please forgive any typos...there's no computer at the bottom of the mountain, so I had to use my phone)

Remembering What I've Forgotten

Today begins a sabbatical week for me. A time the church so lovingly allows me to get away from the day to day things of church and get refocused and recharged for the year to come. I arrived late last night to our cabin, beautiful, it even has a wood burning fireplace!

When I woke up this morning, 40 degrees outside, beautiful view out the glass doors to the patio, I decided that all I needed was a roaring fire! That would make the perfect setting for my morning time with the Lord. Let me ask you something...

Do you know how hard it is to get a fire going? It may seem a whole lot easier when its a wildfire in the forrest, a house fire...one that's destructive, but try getting one started in the fireplace when all you've done for the past 15 years is push a button and...viola!

Let me tell you, it takes a ton of work! After 45 minutes of me vs. the fire...I have a sustained fire. Not a roaring fire mind you, but it seems to be holding heat ;)

I know, all you boy scouts out there are not impressed. Some of you build a fire weekly and it takes you 10% of the time that it took me. Actually, that's the point. As a chid I remember starting fires at my granddaddy's house almost every time we went. The fire would get so hot, when you'd sit next to it your shirt would start to feel like it was on fire! It was raging! I know what to do...I've done it before...but I've gotten out of practice. I've forgotten. Oh, I pulled it off, but barely. It took a long time to remember and apply. Many ups downs (a newspaper and half a roll of paper towels). 

As I begin this week, I needed to struggle with this fire. I've had a push button routine in my faith for so long, I find the grind of getting to the deep things of God harder than I remember. You know what I mean? I think we sometimes  (maybe its just me) get discouraged when the raging fire that we remember in our spirit doesn't ignite so quickly. Maybe we're tempted to go back to the push button day to day routine of our faith. DON'T! That push button faith is convenient. It is easy. It's clean. It also doesn't put out a ton of heat. 

 But that's not the Messy Faith...the wildfire of life we've been called to! A our life in Christ is meant to ignite the world around us! Spread and heat up our life! It's meant to change the world, starting with those closest to it! 

Many of us have forgotten that. We've gotten complacent in our walk. Hurried in our prayer life. Discouraged by the disappointments of trying to start the fire...and our lives just aren't catching/sustaining the flame. 

DON'T QUIT. DOUBLE YOUR EFFORTS. REMEMBER YOUR FIRST LOVE. 

His promise is that He will help you! 

But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you. (John 14:26) 

You and I can't quit! We need the heat that comes form walking with the Spirit. It's that life changing relationship that you and I were created for...but it won't come easy. We have to tend the fire. We have to burn anything we can put our hands on to ignite it...and once we ignite it, we have to pay attention to it or it will go out again. 

Even as I've been writing, I've had to stop multiple times to tend the fire. I've added a log. Picked up the hottest pieces that fell from the center of the stack...Let me give you a little hope. Even though it's work, it's rewarding to tend the fire...to keep it going! When I look at it I am reminded and encouraged by its very existence! 

How much MORE will we experience when the fire of our faith gets burning hot again!