Gotta have Margins!

Do you remember learning to write on notebook paper in grade school? The rule was simple, "stay within the margins." I should have paid more attention.  I remember in high school getting a "U" for conduct in my English class. I asked the teacher why I had received this and she pointed out that "U" stood for "unconscious." (English followed swim practice).

Margins really didn't make sense to me. The margins were marked by those little red lines that held no power. They always caused you to squeeze in a word when you misjudged your writing room or worse you had to leave a gaping space on that line and start writing on the line below. I was a "squeezer" and many times neglected the margins completely. (In fact if you look at the 50 spiral notebooks in my office you would be sure to find that every margin has been ignored!)

I heard a sermon by Andy Stanley years ago about how important margins are in our lives. It struck me as good insight so I created small margins. These margins are protected from my normal scheduling. They are not dead head TV time or Facebook surfing times, they are simply spaces in my week where I make room.

I found after a while that these margins either must be embraced or replaced. Since I don't sit still well I found something "productive" to do in these margins. FAIL! I began protecting my margins only to write a completely different story in the cramped space that I saved from the normal.

The result: Tired, living on production, moving...getting somewhere even...but not feeling full.

I think margins were what Jesus Addressed in Matthew 11:28

Come to me all you who are weary and heavy-laden and I will give you rest.

How did I get so weary or heavy-burdened? Look in the mirror. Trying to live up to the expectations of others. Trying to make the most out of me. Trying to reach all of the goals that I placed in front of me. I - David Adams - I create the burdens that make me so weary.

  In fact, I protect them! "If I don't..." Someone has to..." "This is too important to fail." 

I am in good company. In scripture God called Moses on a mountain. Elijah into the wilderness. David was kicked out of his kingdom. Paul was was made blind for 3 days. Why? because they were writing their stories and filling up the margins! They were taking up space that was reserved for the Lord! 

You see. I have a lot in common with these guys! I want to make the most of life. When I leave margins open and God doesn't fill them, I assume that He wants me to make the most of them. Almost like he said "Pass" and I am next in line. 

This is a killer. You see. The red lines that mark our margins define space. Our space is between the margins. The outer margins are reserved for teacher notes and comments! Even when the teacher doesn't write in them...they still belong to the teacher.  

I am not saying I am going to slow down, but I am saying I must guard my margins. They don't belong to my kids, my wife, my job, or even to me. They belong to my teacher. When I leave them open...protecting them...it is amazing how on those days how weary I am NOT. 

When God doesn't meet our Expectations

Have you ever felt like God isn't meeting your expectations? To even type this seems kinda silly to be honest with you. I mean...He's God! How could He NOT meet my expectations?

This morning I found myself having this conversation with the Lord. I have certain expectations, but this thought came about 5 days after we received some tough news. The sale of our home in Spring had fallen through. Let me walk you through this. Christi and I have lived in 4 different homes in our 16 years of marriage. 2 of our 3 homes sold in a week. The sales went flawlessly, we even made a small profit. 1 of our homes we sold for fun. Yes, I said for fun. We did a "For Sale by Owner" just to move off of a corner lot and see if we could make a little profit. That home stayed on the market almost a month and we were in no rush to move. There was no pressure.

This is our history. This is how God has ALWAYS worked with us. When our Realtor in Spring asked what our expectations were in selling our home, we were honest, "a few days." She lovingly understood...with great reservations. Well, 3 days after the house was on the market we had 2 offers on the house and signed the paperwork (with a preapproval letter included for the buyer). Once again, God worked just as we expected. Mark one off for the good guys! The Lord was testifying again of His faithfulness.

In faith, we moved, rented a town home and started looking at homes. Well about 2 weeks ago the rumbling began. Things might not work as expected. "No worries" God will work it out. We created a new plan that would provide time for the buyers and still protect us from carrying a lease and a mortgage. Last week on Wednesday, that plan fell through. It was obvious, for a least a month, if not more, we were carrying 2 notes.

Our emotions did the typical roller coaster. "Why Lord?" was said a few times, "What are You trying to tell us?" During this questioning we made a plan. We can carry both. No frills, no big vacations happening, no savings, but we can do this. Stress hasn't been a big factor, Praise the Lord, but that doesn't mean the questions stopped. I still found myself with the honest reality...The Lord didn't meet my expectations... what does this mean?

I found myself at Romans 5:2-5, "...and we exult in the hope of the glory of God. And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character, and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us."

God exceeds my expectations A LOT, but when He doesn't meet them...it's ok. Maybe my expectations, although well intentioned, aren't the RIGHT expectations. I mean, if God wants to reveal Himself in a new way to me...that's what I want. I want to know my Lord more deeply than I do now. I want to see new glimpses of his glory and how can this happen if God only moves in my life the way I expect Him to move. Nothing new there, just affirmation of what I already know.

Yes... this situation is a trial! I had a plan...but I want my heart to rejoice in this trial! God isn't meeting my expectation. He is up to something new and although I don't completely "get it" I am excited that on the other side (and I know there is another side)  my hope will not disappoint me. So although God hasn't always meet my expectations... I have never been disappointed when I have placed my whole hope in Him...38 years of life...that has been the one constant. So let the trial come, Ok, in my heart I hope that it is a short one ;) regardless of my expectations I am sure that the Lord who loves me will see me through and show me something New!

 

When it starts to set in...beautiful moments

Today is our last day at North Woods. 9 years ago God laid this congregation of believers on our hearts. Today they are not simply a congregation but family. We were touched to see a video of baptisms that have happened at NWBC since that time. Almost half of our sanctuary was pictured in those clips...what a gift.


Last month when Christi and I shared it with the kiddos- Connor was strong, but what I saw in Ashley may have been her most beautiful moment. 13 years old- she has gone to elementary and now middle school with the same group of friends. She has people to whom she admires at church. Her band teacher has taught her to dream about the role of music in her life. She had it all planned out. In one moment playing HI/LO at the dinner table (each night we share our high and low of the day with one another) everything changed. When we shared the call that the Lord had placed on our hearts... at the same time she expressed sorrow, pain...and trust.  As I watched her battle with what she felt and what she believed my heart broke and sang at the same time. What a godly young woman I have as a child. I couldn't be more proud.


Last night, we heard Connor in his room. The first tears were being shed by him. This was a surprise. Not the tears, but that these were the first. Today is our last day at North Woods, our house had a contract put on it last week, and we are talking about where we are gong to live. North Woods has been his home...maybe his world...for as long as he can remember. Two of his friends are getting baptized today. The most important people in his life...that he isn't related to...all dwell in the family at North Woods. His closest friends. What a blessing they have been. What a joy. Last night it set in...as I heard his quiet tears last night I called him to me. We sat prayed, talked, and shed a few tears together. He went to bed with a smile on his face. Although we are leaving his home to follow God into the unknown...there is a trust.

As a family we all have had it set in at different times...me on a drive, Christi at a conference. Yet the Lord has brought us all to the same place. A place of trust, not knowing exactly what God has laid before us, but certain that His will is good. His love is enduring. His calling is true. We are excited to go on this new journey and have already felt the love of Christ through many in Pearland.

2 Timothy 4:5 says, "But you be sober in everything, endure hardship, do the work of the evangelist, fulfill your ministry." This has been a verse of comfort through this time in our lives. I know all of these things lay behind and ahead, but God's greatest gifts thus far has been the way that He has spoken to each part of our family over the past couple of months. Our life is His...joyfully...He can have it all.

It has finally set in!

Remember when you were going to change the world?!

Ok...I love this image. As a dad...for sure, but maybe more for what it tells me. No, my kids aren't perfect. If you've met them you know they have their flaws like the rest of us, but I can say with confidence that there are moments...and those moments seem to occur more regularly...that God teaches me something as I watch them.

Remember when you were going to change the world? What life was going to be like when you were an adult? The fullness that your life was going to be? The meaningful place you were going to hold in the universe? As kids we were idealistic, we knew (or believed we knew) what was right, good, and worthwhile. What happened? Are you there? Is life as a grown-up what you thought it would be?

Many times we reason away our life "not as we dreamed it" situation. As a child, we didn't really know what we were talking about. We didn't understand the importance of a nice car, house, the cost of clothing, or electricity. We didn't understand work dynamics, feeling tired, or the responsibility that we do now as an adult. So in other words, we think MATURITY, is what we didn't have as a child that we have now and that maturity helps us accept the compartment we live in. Job...pays the bills. Church...checks off the box. Marriage...not too bad (not a Disney movie either). Maturity, yeah that's it.

Is that what "abundant life" we read about in scripture looks like? I don't think so. I think maybe, just maybe, maturity isn't defined the way we think it is. There are some things we let go of as a child that we should get back! You already knew this didn't you? Isn't it part of the reason we are so committed to our children's football, baseball, band, volleyball games? Do you love participating? I do. It stirs us something in me when I coach, cheer, watch my kids succeed and improve. I love it when they win too! It fills my tank!

I was thinking on these things as I read John chapter 4 this morning. You know, the story of Jesus talking with the woman at the well. (It's a long read but worth it if you can make time for it today.)

You see this woman was mature. She had been following her pursuits as an adult...relationships were plenty in her love life even. Ok, so adulthood wasn't all she thought it would be. In fact, she was at the well around noon. Most people traveled to get water in the morning or evening. It was the social hub for the ladies. (kinda like a biblical Starbucks). Well, she was tired of the drama and the looks. I assume she was just trying to get through the day, hoping for a bright spot or two to relieve her mundane routine.  Now that was the situation in John 4:6-7. 

In John 4:28-42, something changed! She is running into town, talking to everybody! Daring them to dream that their life could be more! There is a light in her eyes and a passion in her speech! She's not intimidated by anything or anyone! She is bold! She is going to change the world!

What happened? JESUS did! Now, I know you may be thinking, I know Jesus...good, don't stop reading! I think there was a truth that changed this woman and will also change you. Jesus said in v.14 that he would give her a "spring of water welling up to eternal life." This doesn't mean she could "get saved" and life would be full. No, this is a promise, a daily, moment by moment promise. A change the world kind of promise! You see our relationship with Christ is active. He constantly is producing this living water in our spirit so you and I will never have to thirst (for meaning, for life to the full) ever. There is only ONE WAY you and I can be thirsty for such things if we have a relationship with Christ...hold your breath. Don't drink it...intentionally. What happens is dehydration. This make you feel weak, tired, restless. Ever felt this way in your faith? You see when you and I first came to know CHRIST, I bet your mouth was open all the time! You were so full of water that everyone you walked by got wet! But somewhere along the way you started holding your breath.  

Can't drink today JESUS...not enough time.

 I have responsibilities that need the best of me today Lord, I'll take a sip when I can, but this is REAL life I am working with. 

My kids need my attention, if I get a break (and feel like it) I will give you some too.

You know all of these MATURE reasons. What if...just maybe-The answer to life abundantly is welling up inside of you and you are just so busy "doing life" that you forgot it. You see our faith IS our way of life. It is the way we change the world! Our faith at work, with our kids, with our wife, in our church, as we travel...everywhere we go our faith in Jesus is welling up waiting to make a splash on the world around us! 

Your Job...mission field. Your family...your disciples. Your church...your filling tank. Make the most of it. Maybe, just maybe, you ARE meant to change the world! I think so. Take a drink...you don't ever have to thirst again. 

My Most Intentional Battle

In one month, I will no longer have a "single digit" child.... There I said it! In a short time Connor turns 10 and will join Ashley in the realm of double digits. Time flies when you're having fun! It seems like it was days ago that Connor was living the "stay at home" life while his big sister went to her first day of school! Here we are, next week our schedule will be filled with volleyball games, baseball practice, piano lessons, children's choir, along side of all of our normal schedules... Knew this day was coming, I have seen so many families juggle this one over the years (some more successfully than others), to be honest with you...I am as excited as I have ever been!

I love my kids. I want them around, I want to spend time with them at every age of life. Oh, that temptation has been there at every stage to selfishly try to stop their maturing. To freeze them in a stage that I am enjoying so much. The battle with guilt over opportunities missed has stood at my door tempting me many times...whispering all that I didn't do or all that I am going to lose. I realized a while ago that this is the enemy. His goal is to distract me from being the parent I have been called to be, so that my kids won't get the godly example in the moments God has ordained for us.

I don't want time to drag, I want to squeeze every drop out of every moment and when that moment is gone, I want to squeeze the next one. Doing this is the most difficult, intentional, and rewarding battle that I have ever engaged in. There are so many times I am reminded by the Holy Spirit to parent my kids for the glory of God. Those times when I am tired, feeling down, irritable, or just plain selfish wanting to make much of what I want to make much of. Those times are the times when I must make an extra effort, as Paul writes in Philippians, to "take every thought captive before The Lord." 

Are my actions going to be subject to the King of Glory? Who do these children really belong to anyway? Who's image do they bear? Who do I want people to see when they see my kids? The answer to all of these questions is, "You Lord, they are Yours!" I don't say this with a tear or with sadness, but with all joy! I am raising my children stand firm, to make the most of every opportunity, to listen to God's voice, to mature in their physical and spiritual life of faith, and to be honest, the instructors God has given them are Christi and me. This means living my faith to the fullest. Running hard after God no matter how I am feeling or what struggles I am in. If I am going to intentionally fight this battle to help equip my kids to be all that God has made them to be, then I must model that battle in my own life, and I must believe it for me too. 

It isn't easy. My mistakes are plenty, both as a person and a parent. The reality is, when I am struggling with what to do, how to parent, or even how to discern if my feelings are godly or not...I don't need to look in the mirror, read a blog (the humor in that just struck me), get Facebook opinions, or even talk to my parents...I first must put both hands around the battle that I am in, wrestle it down, and make it submit to the King of Kings....my Lord. I believe with all that I am, that when I do this, He will never lead me astray. 

Why do I believe this? Why do I honor His leading/advice more than any other? Because He is my Father. He wants better for me than I want for myself...His love for my family makes my love look dead and dried out. So join me, cut the ropes that you have been holding onto your children with, and "delight yourself in The Lord...He will give you the desires of your heart" (and you'll love every minute of it!)

I want you to know everything-

A few minutes after Christi and I began our morning run, she looks to me and says, "you're calling me." I said,"That's strange, because I am listening to the radio on my phone right now." Well, it was my son Face Timing Christi from my IPad. He wanted to speak with me. 

"Dad, I can't find the remote..." We had been wrestling earlier (a lot of that type of good father/son bonding happens in the Adams' household), and he said that he knew where it was before we wrestled, but now he couldn't find it. He had gone through the normal routine of where it could be and was out of ideas. 

What was my response? "Bud , I am out running. I don't know where it is. I can't see it. What do you want?"  What he said brought a smile to my face.

"Dad, I want you to know everything."

What an amazing admission...I wish I knew everything, but I don't. As parents, dads imparticular, we do all that we can to have the answer to every solution for our kids and family. I think sometimes, if we are honest with ourselves, we would have to admit that we find a lot of value in having an answer for every situation. Problems at school, work, with friends...we love being the goto guys. Ok, maybe I can't speak for you, but I know this is true for me. 

What happens when I have taught my family that I am the answer man, and the day comes when I have to admit...I don't know it all. I don't have all of the answers. What then? That's called a crisis of belief. That's what happens. The foundation of trust and belief that others have built upon...cracked and damaged.

After Connor said that he wanted me to know everything, by God's grace, I answered, "I do too, buddy, but only God knows everything, He's the only dad with all of the answers. I will help you look when I get home."   In that moment, I made a two confessions: I don't know it all and I know who does. 

It is our job, our privilege, as parents to make much of God to our spouse and children. I think we need to recognize every opportunity to do this. Even those times, when we swell up with pride (like I did this morning) when those we love confess how much they rely on and believe in us. It is ok to feel good, to enjoy that trust. 

We have to remember what The Lord spoke in Isaiah chapter 40:28, "Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the Everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable."

Next time you don't know the answer, don't hang your head low, lift your eyes up! 

Don't Neglect the Little Things

Christi and I have had a busy summer. Our kiddos were gone for a couple of weeks to the grandparents...I would love to tell you how much free time we had---romantic dates every night and all---but our calendar didn't free up that much!

What we did do though makes us scratch our heads. You see when we moved into our new home 8 years ago, we painted every wall, waxed every floor. We were "Gung-ho" taking care of everything, big and small to make our home look its best.

Well, 8 years later, we had done very little. Paint is dirty from raising 2 kids. Chipped paint marks where chairs have hit the wall one too many times. Tiles that have been cracked since year 2 still mark the floor. Dirty grout marks the kitchen floor and ice falls out of the refrigerator ice maker onto the floor because the guide for the ice has long been broken.

How did it get this way? I mean to the average visitor, you might not notice these things, but to us...they have been more than prominent. Well, this summer we finally decided to try and tackle this list. No kidding, a couple of weeks are gone and this list no longer exists! Everything is cleaned, repaired or replaced!

So why do we scratch our heads when we think about it? Well, we never tackled these things because we thought they would either be out of our skill set or take more time than we had. We have lived with a mess in our house, inconveniences in the kitchen, all because we weren't willing to try the fixes because they APPEARED to be too much for us to tackle.

You know where I'm going with this! Yeah, think of all the little things in your life of faith that you have simply not tackled over the years. All the different areas of your life you have not opened the door to for the Holy Spirit simply because that area APPEARS a little too big of a task to deal with right now.

I bet we share a lot in common. When we first believed, we were "Gung-ho" about letting the Holy Spirit do major overhauls in our life. Over time, we just have gotten tired and overwhelmed at the thought of what it would take to get that area of faith/life back to the full beauty God intends for it. Well, let me give you a word of encouragement. It's not gonna take much! Jesus gave us the Holy Spirit as our Helper and guide. It is He who works in you and through you. If He can revive a dead soul and bring it back to life...well those nicks and cracks in your life of faith are a cakewalk. The reality is, you just have to open the door and let Him work - though you, through others around you, through His power!

      “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you. -(Jn 14:26)

Take a moment today. Take account of the areas of your life of faith you have neglected a little more than you wish you would have. Then, in obedience to Christ and by the power that comes by the Holy Spirit, knock those items that have been bugging you off your list. It feels great, I promise!