Celebrate Your Progress

It is our first full day on a cruise. So far, so good. Christi and I both begin the 2nd leg of life this week. Of our 40 years of life, we have known each other for 3/4 of it and have loved each other 1/2 of it. Pretty awesome when you consider that!

We have endured, overcome, and celebrated more than I could ever put into words...and I was reminded of that this morning.

Last night we went through a storm on the boat. We are on the 10th deck, so the swaying was obvious. When I got out this morning the evidence of what we had gone through was obvious. Everything was soaked, tied down and the sky was still cloudy and dark. I went to the side to have my morning quiet time and just took in my surrounding. Although we were in the dark, I could see in the distance a big patch of light and we were headed for it. It was pretty cool, knowing the we would soon be in the sun and I could see the ocean in the full light of day! Since it was a ways out, I sat down and spent some time reading.

Isaiah 40---one of my favorite, if not my favorite, chapters in all of scripture. V.12 says,

Who has measured the waters in the hallow of His hand, and marked off the heavens by the span, and calculated the dust of the earth by the measure, and weighed the mountains in a balance.

As I considered how incredible God was, I looked up. Couldn't see the patch of light we were once headed toward. I looked around and all I could see were dark patches in the distance. Then the weight of it all sat in...I was in the light patch, it just wasn't the full light that I had thought I saw in the distance. I had a choice, mourn the fact that the "relief" that I thought awaited me was not so bright, or be excited that I had come through a dark time and even in the "light" there was still more to come!

This is marriage! God has created a beautiful scene for a man and woman. How many lives have fallen apart when they made it through the dark times to the light patch. When they realized it wasn't the end, only progress...they quit.  GOD DIDN'T DESIGN YOU TO QUIT IN THE PROGRESS, BUT TO REJOICE IN IT!

Christi and I have not arrived! Praise God! That means there is more....much more... to come! As I look back, I thank God that we endured the dark spots and have no desire to go back. I rejoice that God led us the bright spots in our past...looking back, even some of those seem dark in comparison to the light we love each other in now. How amazing is it that even now, we have not reached the finish line, but our GREAT GOD has still brighter places for us to seek!

Who could conceive of such a plan? Not me, I want Point A to Point B as fast as you can. But God in His greatness wants me to celebrate the progress, not just endure the road.

Not sure when on this cruise we will see the sun uninhibited, but it will get here eventually. Of that I am sure. Until then, I'll make the most of the progress we've made this far!

When the past fuels present...

Sitting in the coffee shop (isn't that where every pastor studies?) this morning there was a man with 2 adopted sons close by. As I studied, I smiled, but then I heard it...that familiar song that I haven't heard in years.

"Your backyard friends, the Backyardigans..."

Can you hear their high-pitched voices singing in your head? You're welcome.

It was funny because last night before we went to bed flipping through Amazon Prime, we came across a show called "Tiny Planets." (Ashley loved this in her first year of life!) All of the sudden the last 12 hours became obviously memory filled. Do you have such triggers? Things that you haven't thought about in years, or decades even, yet the moment you encounter them again you are brought back to the time, place, emotions...joy of a moment?

Depending on your present circumstances these triggers from the past can make you long for "simpler times." Those joy filled moments. Today with the time commitments of older children, the promotions in your work that come with more responsibility, or even the slight downturn in energy that you are experiencing as 40 approaches (I still have 3 months as a 30-something), isn't it easy to want to go back? At least to visit.  Just to have your pump primed with a longer moment of joy than just your moment now?

What if you were to go back? I think you would get more than you imagined! I would. As a One year old, I loved watching my daughter play in wonder...be captivated by the images she saw on the screen (for all of you secretly judging me now for putting my 1 year old in front to of the TV, it was a 6 min. show) I wondered what she was thinking. THEN... I remember the countless nights crying in the hall as she wouldn't go to bed, the food she wouldn't eat, diapers (enough said), fits, baby-proofing...it was a stressful time in life...SLEEP was gold, and money was thin...dates consisted of sitting on the back porch while Ashely took a nap.

I could go through a list of things that would be a mixed bag of wonder and weariness with Connor too.

Why do I remember such times with joy when I hear a song or see a picture? I don't want to go back, yet I miss some of its pieces. Do I try to relive it? Recreate it? No, CPS might have some negative words about that one!

The Past is so beautiful because of the present! When I look at my older children, I see how those moments in the past grew up! The imagination of a One year old, now is the creativity of a young lady. The delight in fictitious friendships, now displayed as the joy of an 11 year old who loves teams in every shape, form and fashion. The Present has proven the past. The link is hardly recognizable unless we take a moment to see it!

Things/Times that were trials have blossomed into beauty!

Romans 5 says it this way:
3 We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. 4 And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. 5 And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. (NLT)

We are reminded in our faith that the stresses of today blossom into the beauty of tomorrow! In our faith we can look fondly on the past, not to relive them, but to see how Christ has matured us...proven His promises to us! How things that captured us, were simply fuel to strengthen us in Christ today! And those of today...for tomorrow.

As a dad. There are moments that I miss for sure, but today I have been reminded that those moments are still here with me...simply grown up! Evidence that God's promises are true.

Tuesday...not at all as we intended

Well I must say, this trip has not gone as we planned. Our baggage still hasn't arrived in Kisumu, and they are telling us that Lawyer's bag was separated and may not arrive until Thursday (we fly home on Friday.)

As we were sitting at the airport waiting on our bags to arrive (we were told they would arrive so expectantly we went.) we called and asked out Stve(our administrator), Emily (our social worker), and Kennedy (our head teacher) to meet us to go shopping and join us for lunch. The plan was then to go and deliver everything to the children in the afternoon. Well...things did not go as planned.

As we waited at the airport for an hour, we were told that our information was incorrect. Our baggage was "delayed." So, quit dejected we went out to the car...there was a parking boot placed on our car! Again we waited for another hour. The team from the orphanage had been waiting for almost 2 hours in Kisumu before we finally made it st 1pm to go shopping! Th were gracious, but we were frustrated. 

SHOPPING...my highest spiritual gift is GIVING! This was in my wheel house. So Lawyer and I bought clothes for the day and were able to buy underwear for the kids and toiletry items. In this moment I realized how thankful I was that Lawyer and I were her together. We make a great team! 

We really felt the need to have some private conversations with Emily on some news we have gotten, but these guys seldom separated themselves from her. As I asked her to lead me to the help me find a tooth brush, Lawyer ran interference with the other 2! It provided me with a good 20 minutes to visit with Emily! 

At we went shopping, we went to the linen store to buy material for new uniforms! It was a unique experience. Lawyer and I both hav been buying cheap shirts as we have awaited our luggage and in this store we realized that we could have had Kenyan tailored shirts for cheaper! Too late, but Emily told us the next time we arrived that she would have some waiting for us ;) (she eyeballed our measurements)

Then it was time for lunch. There is a place called the Java House that has great sandwiches, that. We had planned to visit. Our teachers hoped for more, so we went to the Kisumu hotel in stead! They seldom, if ever get to eat at such a place. It was a gift. Lawyer and I tried samosa? For the first time! If was great. I would call it Africa's version of a meat pie!

At lunch is when I say lawyer at his best. Steve is a competent young man, but doesn't relate well with those below him...lording his authority over them. There is much tension there. Lawyer for an hour talked with him about leadership and the joy of serving! It was beautiful to watch and listen to from afar. That young man didn't understand the gift he'd been given. He listened intently, and you could see him deciding whether to believe his training or this man who sat in front of him. Amazing!

We then went on to purchase shoes for the kids. Steve took initiative for the first time...and negotiated the price of the shoes! Saving some $100. 

By the time that was finished it was too late to go to the orphanage. So we visited the Masai Market to get gifts to take home. Man those guys ,corner you! But we put our best negotiator's hats on and got what we needed. Our families will be happy!

Our biggest God moment happened as we woke up in the morning! We had been told a few years back for the need of a fence at the  cost...$25,000! The church has tried to raise money but fallen short! It is a need. Well at the Okelo's where we are staying I noticed a living fence. It don't know how to spell it but it sounds like "K-epo" it is s thorny brush..beautiful! As we talked, many of the nicer homes have this thick brush manicured as a fence! It was pretty and effective! As we dicussed, we talked about the possibility of this at the orphanage! The soil and rain is good for this plant there...we would need to buy some 2500 plants! The plants cost .10/ea! We could do the fence for 100 times less than our goal! Lawyer took the idea, put his engineering mind behind it and presented this idea to Steve and I believe he listened to it because of the relationship Lawyer had built with him. 

Not as planned, but good.

Prayers...

Pray for both of our digestive tracks. Without meds, we are both adjusting to the food slower than we would like. Pray for the meetings that must occur Wednesday. They are most critical, and will be most difficult. Pray for our luggage to arrive. Pray for the orphanage and those who are there. 

On a lighter note, I was encouraged with a text from one of our members last night. It was a reminder of the last sermon I preached. The text, Mark 6:7-9. 

And He *summoned the twelve and began to send them out in pairs, and gave them authority over the unclean spirits;

 8 and He instructed them that they should take nothing for their journey, except a mere staff—no bread, no bag, no money in their belt—

 9 but to wear sandals; and He added, “Do not put on two tunics.”

Well, I guess we packed too much! What a great reminder to the preacher, that we have been knives what is needed to do the Lord's work! As always He is Our provider!

We don't what tomorrow holds, but we know that it will turn out just as the Lord desires. 

***update: it is Wednesday at noon on Kenya. Lawyer's bag has made it. It had the most important meds. Mine is still missing. Its important contents are the letters for the children and balls for recreation. Small things but important. Pray for its arrival.

Day 1 or Day 3, depending on how you are counting

Day 1---or 3, depending on how you count

Well we have made it through day 1 (or 3 of you count flight time) it has been a good trip this far. The flights were long...very long. But we arrived (our luggage didn't, but should arrive Tuesday) as a side note we went out and bought some clothes and we looked like an old guy boy band! Note to self, Kenyan sizes are smaller than US sizes!

After a pretty good nights rest in Nairobi we boarded our plane to Kisumu. The view below is the first site I had of Kisumu from the air! 

As we were met by our host (Jared) we made our way to the orphanage. If you haven't been this next picture might not mean much b/c it is just of the road. If you have been here then your jaw is dropping! The roads are great and have brought many homes,businesses, and schools to the area

Our our way there must have been 15-20 towns that have developed along the road. I was amazed that during the day. On our two hour drive to the orphanage that we only saw a handful of kids not in school. These areas were businesses that had formed in pockets for travelers.

We stopped for lunch. Below is Jared (yellow), his brother Joshua (black), Tom (our previous admin) and Lawyer.

Lunch was...fried! Not too bad.

Lawyer insisted on the next picture! Before and after each meal you had to wash up. You eat with your hands, so this was important.

This is a picture of our orphanage from the back. It's HUGE! I mean big! Compared to other orphanages I think the facility was as nice or better. Now, apparently there is no running water and the generator is not working, but you can tell that FBCP put a lot into the bones of the facility.

This was Pastor Daniel's home. It now serves for prek-1st school rooms.

The kitchen smelt good. Wood burning stove/oven. The head chef was there today (what are the odds!?! JK, they knew we were coming)

This is the garden where the kids grow Kale and then use it in some of their meals.

Lawyer and some of our orphans.

Finally made it home. Must have seen 50-100 houses like the one in the picture on the way back to Homa Bay and Kisumu.

The scenery is beautiful. God is good

We had a full day with a fuller one tomorrow. We heard the school side of the report. High marks. Trophy for the best private school on Homa Bay. I wrote the stat, but it was 1 out of 97 schools I believe.

Many questions and tensions between some of the people associated with the school/orphanage are already stirring. Pray that the Lord will give us the ability to bring them together. Also pray for truth. We heard only about the school today, but so much still left to talk about. Some big issues. 

What a unique experience the Lord has given us and we want to serve Him completely and competently. 

Thank you all for praying.

**its midnight and I'm beat. So forgive any typos**

Better Together

I discovered something about myself this week. Apparently...I am a slob!

You would never know this. In fact, I don't think I knew this until this week. Christi and the kids are out of town for the week visiting family and I have been home alone. This morning I got up this morning and went on my run and was praying, singing (in my head), and thinking. As I started to think through the day about what I need to accomplish a picture of my home ran through my mind.

I haven't made the bed all week, no clothes have been washed, the clothes that were washed last week are still on the floor in the den, paint cans from Monday's paint project are still on the kitchen table...sadly the list goes on. What happened?

Normally, I am not a neat freak, but this is a little past the norm.

As I was running it hit me...I'm better as a WE than a ME. Whether it is my wife or kiddos, when I am with them I'm just....better. I'm more considerate, more motivated, more intentional...definitely cleaner!

It was in that moment that the Lord got my attention and a smile came across my face. God made me to be a WE not a ME! I was a me when I was lost to myself. My way of thinking. embracing my imperfections as a part of ME. I was a ME before HE reached down for ME! I was lost, alone, and sloppy in my spirit and I didn't even know it! When I am a WE with Christ I'm better! When I take time to spend reading HIS word, gathered in HIS family, even serving HIM joyfully in my everyday roles as Pastor, Husband, Father that BETTER is so easy to recognize.

We all have a ME RELAPSE every now and then. Our ME takes advantage of our relationship with Christ and, normally by neglect, find ourselves in a sloppy mess. Don't embrace that mess as who you are...it was who you were. It isn't your inner self trying to escape, it is your old nature trying to make an attempt to lure you to give in.

I don't want to ever live like a ME again. Not in my physical life. Single vs. Dad or Husband....easy answer. ( I love you babe!)  Not in my spiritual life...self consumed orphan vs. One with the Creator of all Things and the Son of the Most High God...even easier.

"I just don't feel like it." - ever said that?

"I just don't feel like it." Those were my words tonight. Christi wanted to go run and I just wasn't in the mood. Seriously, I didn't want to run. She didn't "force" me to, but you know how that is. If I didn't run with her, I would feel like a jerk and she wasn't going to tell me it was ok not to run. In fact it was the opposite, she kept prodding me...pushing me, I didn't enjoy it. 

So I ran, somewhere in the first mile she pulls one of those lines..."I read somewhere that you are going to hurt if you exercise, or you are going to hurt because you are out of shape because you don't exercise, and you won't like how you look...so might as well exercise!" Yeah, that was inspirational...

About a mile and a half in...I still didn't want to be running...it hit me. This is how we are living our lives...our faith. Think about it. Someone "pushing" you to live out your faith by God's Word...our reaction, avoid them. It's tough taking up our cross daily, and somedays are harder than others. We look for excuses, a way out that makes us feel like we are pleasing God, but not having to walk the path. A loved one living a lifestyle of homosexuality...we look for an excuse to affirm them, because it is hard holding to our faith if it "hurts" someone we love. A friend fooling around outside of marriage, a leader giving themselves to greed, someone talking about an unborn child like they are a big toe instead of a person...the list can go on and on. On top of all of that, it takes work to live our own lives running next to Christ. 

It is way easier to just say, "I'm sitting this one out God .You understand right...yes, I believe You do. I love you, see You on the next lap." And away we skip, Lord I'll meet up with you at the "plant a tree conviction" or the "boycott somebody because they are not using cage free birds to make their chicken whatever's" all the cool kids are on those causes, much easier road. 

I want to let you know, that if it wasn't for the love of my wife "pushing me" I wouldn't have run tonight or many other nights...where would it lead me? Eventually to misery. Church...and I am talking to all who claim Christ...we are called to run in tough environments in our faith. It may cost us some relationships with those who won't run towards Christ with us. It may cause people to push us away or even to intentionally degrade us for our faith, but I am here to tell you...scripture points the way, God places poeople in our lives to push us closer to Him...especially when we are struggling. Don't avoid them or write them off.

Don't get distracted by what appears to be a more "enjoyable" route in the moment. That route ends in misery. My run wasn't my most favorite run ever...by a long shot, but Christi was right (and I knew it when she said it) I am glad that I didn't take myself off the path tonight.

My View To the Top

There's something about a mountain that says, "conquer me!" I don't know if everybody is made this way, but I sure am. Since I was a child, every time I have found myself at the base of a mountain, I have felt this urging to get to the top! When I look at a mountain, I do like the challenge it poses (there have been many that have conquered me), but I don't simply want to scale a mountain just for the challenge. I want to get a view from the top. I want the view from on high. 

As Christi and were "running" (I use that term loosely) up a small mountain close to where we were staying I found myself looking down a lot. Some parts of our trail were relatively smooth, while others were pretty rocky. To keep up my pace without causing injury I needed to look down consistently. Picking my steps, carefully watching so I didn't twist an ankle or slip as I ran. Somewhere in my progress, I heard..."you're missing it." What was I missing? My View To the top.

It immediately hit me. In my hurry to get to the top, I was no longer looking at the top of the mountain or celebrating the progress that I was making. I was missing out on the views as I drew nearer to my goal. I couldn't celebrate God's glory that He was revealing because all I was staring at was my feet. 

Church, I couldn't get this out of my head. How many times have I not stopped to celebrate what God is up to, because I just saw another step and missed the view? How often have I woken up with a view of Heaven only to let the challenges of the day take my eyes off of WHY I live and breathe or WHAT the purpose of my striving is for? 

Listen, slowing down is not in my nature. The point of progress is progress...right? Not at all. Too many men and women have started off with good intentions, only to miserably progress through the Christian life or even worse to take the wrong path and end up going down instead of up. Funny...I can hear it in my head now...the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. Never thought of it like that before. If we're not looking up...keeping our focuses constantly on Christ, it is pretty easy to ruin our faith. 

Jesus endured the cross because of the JOY set before him.

Paul spoke for running a good race and finishing it.

Solomon learned this striving for his own purposes was meaning less.

When so many turned away said, where would we go? You hold the words of eternal life.

We must pick our eyes up. Our spirits will be renewed by the progress of our faith. Seeing what awaits us at the Top, but also rejoicing at the view all along the way. Yes, we have to watch our steps, but more importantly we have to Watch His.  Delight in Him. Take time to notice what He's doing through and around you. Live for the Top...yes. But also enjoy His glory along the way.